I have to be honest with myself and you, dear reader. I didn’t quit for me, at first. It took a few weeks of self-examination and experience to reach the point of quitting for me.
I have quit drinking many times, as I think all addicts have. I had an inkling that I had a problem, but I would never truly admit it to myself. It was always in the back of my mind. But, I was too busy lying to myself and to others to truly hear that tiny voice of reason. It was like trying to hear the buzz of a mosquito over the roar of a jet engine. “I can put it down anytime, I don’t have a problem, I’m not drinking liquor, such-and-such drinks more than I do, they can’t tell I’ve been drinking, I’m fine”. The string of self-justifying lies never ended. Continue reading “Why I Quit: The Long and Short Of It”
I have attempted to maintain a few blogs/websites over the years. And in all honesty, they often were for vanity. My younger self yearned for others to care about my opinion on this book or that film, just whatever attention I thought I deserved.
This is the least of my concerns now. At 32 years old, I hit a wall concerning my vices. I had become a drunk. Not just a “binge drink on occasion” kind of person. I had become an” overindulging on a daily basis” alcoholic. I have known for a while that I had a problem but would never face it. I went through the typical internal dialogue daily: I can quit whenever I want, I don’t have a problem, I drink less than (fill in the blank), I’m not hurting anything or anyone, why won’t people just leave me alone?!
Enough. I had to make a change. The truth is, I started by quitting for someone else. But as time elapsed, I saw why I should be quitting for me.
This isn’t directly an advice column. If you take something from it, good on you. This is about my struggles, which I try as often as possible to view through a lens of classical Stoic philosophy (more on that to come). Thank you for showing interest in this. It’s a work in progress, just like me.