Well, it’s been a while since I have posted! Apologies. I know you were all sitting and waiting with baited breaths.
There have been many substantial life changes for me since my last post in September. Where has the time gone?
Most notably, I am back in school studying geomatics, the technical term for surveying technology. Thus, a large chunk of my time has been dedicated to getting back into the swing of school and, you know, making the grade and all!
All that to be said, stand by for some new additions to Stoic Sobriety. I’m staring down the barrel of one year of sobriety. I have learned so much about myself and my place and purpose in life. Stoic philosophy remains tantamount to my understanding of life’s little curveballs and how to deal with them (which often means relegating them to the “out of my control” subheading!)
Make sure and add me to your RSS feed. I’m really excited about the future of this site!
I’ll never be ashamed to quote a bad writer with a good saying.
Seneca, On Tranquility Of Mind, 11.8
I’m starting to question my reality. I was forced to endure a country song I’ve heard a thousand times and actually took something from it. Toby Keith’s song “Ain’t Much Fun” has imparted some wisdom on me. Mr. Keith (because I know you are reading), I respect you as an artist, being one myself. I like country music, but I am a purist. While I can’t say I particularly enjoy your lexicon of work, I will say thank you for this song.
The premise of the song is of a man getting sober and returning to real life. Chores, the “honey-do” list, the everyday routine of life. It’s very tongue in cheek, but the reality of it is, well, my reality. I don’t get to go out an party all the time, drinking away my problems for another day and time. I can’t go to work and drink the whole time (I’m a musician) and then come home and do it again scot-free. At this point, why would I? Things creak and cramp hard enough in the morning without a hangover.
I know that a fear that many people in recovery have is how to cope with being sober. One question is whether they will get boring, whether they can have fun sober. Continue reading “Toby Keith: A Philosopher For Our Generation”
I’m going to make this post short and sweet.
The definition of a scapegoat is defined in two ways, both very fitting:
- a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency
- (in the Bible) a goat sent into the wilderness after the Jewish priest had symbolically laid the sins of the people on it.
To be clear, I’m not calling anyone who drinks a sinner! I’m the alcoholic here. Drinking responsibly is the way to do it, a commendable trait. I hope that I am humble enough to take responsibility for my past transgressions and regret my actions as a user, both of people and alcohol.
I have had more people than I can count drive my drunk carcass home. Honestly, like a selfish moron, I would drive myself more often than not. But this isn’t the point.
I am always here to help a friend home who has had too much to drink. I wish I had enough forethought to make the call myself. However, sober friends are not yours to use as your personal taxi service. We aren’t your proxy designated driver. Do not assume this position and do not make your sober friends your babysitter.
Another scapegoat scenario, this one for alcoholics and addicts: if you get caught, fess up. Tell the truth. One of my favorite excuses for my girlfriend finding empty beer cans at the house was to blame it on my friends who came over to hang out. “Oh no, babes. Such and such came over to watch wrestling/football with me. They were drinking. I didn’t have any.” Don’t blame your friends. Don’t lie and place the blame on someone else. Don’t scapegoat your friends, placing them on the altar of lies.
As a former idiotic drunk driver, if you are my friend and I know your are impaired, I will ask for your keys. You’re talking to the king of “nah, man, I’m fine”.
Don’t use your friends for your needs.
Don’t drink and drive. Ever. Period.
It has been said that one of the keys to life is moderation. Don’t sleep too much or little, watch what and how much you eat. Have a job but don’t be a workaholic. Take time to play but don’t play too hard. Find that middle ground. Psychologists call this the “Goldilocks effect”, that point where it’s just right. Graphically, that point would be the apex of an upside down letter U. Anything after that will possibly lead to a point of diminishing returns.
However, American culture values extremes and excess. You can never have too much money, be too skinny, have too many social media followers, never have a house too big or too small. We also live in a world that alcohol has become more acceptable amongst the masses. Continue reading “When Moderation Leads to Excess: The Alcoholic’s Dilemma, Or, The Bee Sting”